The holidays can be a controversial time for any relationship. Every aspect from dealing with relatives and extra expenses, to changes in the weather, can bring down additional stress on any couple. This is particularly exasperated by religious a. Juggling, midnight mass, and Hanukkah celebrations can be a lot to handle on top of everything else. Here are a few holiday tips from us to you on how to keep calm this season.

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1 – When Hosting

If you are hosting events for friends or family, cook as much in advance as possible! You would be surprised by how many holiday favorites can be made in advance and reheated on the day with no one the wiser – not even your mother-in-law. Also if your partner’s traditions or culture is different from yours don’t be afraid to ask for help when hosting, your in-laws will appreciate the effort and most often be happy to teach you what you need to know.

2 – When Visiting

For those of us not hosting, we will most likely be traveling to other celebrations. Have a long chat with your partner before your trip outlining where you will stay, who will be there, and what will be expected of you during your stay. If there are large cultural differences such as language, have your partner teach you a small phrase or dance and use it to charm their relatives, they will appreciate your foresight and effort.

3 – When Staying Home

If you don’t plan on seeing family on the holidays, make sure you keep the holiday spirit and culture alive at home. Talk to your partner about the traditions important to them and make decisions together about what you should do together and what can be saved for when the family is around. Work on building rituals you can take part in as a family every year and pass on to the next generation. And most importantly – enjoy your holiday together, whichever one you chose to celebrate.