Instagram has over a billion active users worldwide and can be a great opportunity for meeting women besides the usual dating apps. However, because Insta isn’t set up for making matches, you have to work a little harder to get their attention, that’s why we are here to help. From getting your profile date approved to striking up a conversation, we’ve got the intel to get you started on finding that special lady.
1 – Optimize your Profile
The strategy here starts with generating interest. Unlike Tinder or Bumble, Instagram is not a dedicated dating site, and the girl you are interested in isn’t necessarily seeing you as dating material yet. Our job here is to create a profile that makes her want to meet you in person.
You need to catch her attention long enough to lay the groundwork for potential dating interest. It’s important you have a profile worthy of getting noticed, particularly if the woman you are interested in has a significant number of followers. An ideal profile breaks down into three parts, profile photo, username and bio.
While creativity can grab attention, your profile photo should actually be a bit more reserved, especially if you are looking to attract romantic attention. Simple photos tend to be more attractive to the human brain, and that’s something to remember when picking a profile pic on any site – from Tinder to LinkedIn!
If you want a photo that pops remember these three things – eye contact, a tight crop, and high contrast. You can see an example of a great profile photo to the right.
As you can see, in this photo you have direct eye contact, a close crop around the face and shoulders, and a nice contrast of the white background with the darker shirt and hair in the foreground. In this example, however, there are no props or arms which can come across as a bit severe or boring.
This photo in particular signals warmth and professionalism, which is helpful if you use your social media for job hunting as well. These signals are important, so think hard about what you want to impress upon your potential date and analyze your photos to decide how to showcase yourself.
Everything in your photo from your clothes to your body language contributes heavily to the impression you leave on a woman. For example, pictures featuring poor or unflattering lighting could unintentionally signal that you don’t get out enough, don’t care to make a good impression which concludes that you are probably not a very fun date.
In opposition to this, a photo outside with good lighting and eye contact signals confidence and happiness which are two very attractive qualities.
An Instagram username must be less than 30 characters and ideally should have a deeper meaning rather than humor or random numbers. A meaningful username represents your profile and helps create a connection to others on any social media site. Simple usernames are the most appealing, you want it to be understandable an easy to read, with no random characters.
Avoid first and last name combos (m.parsons) unless you are using your social media to network for work, if you are using it for that we recommend a separate profile for dating. Go for activities you post about regularly (this_dude_skiis) or things important in your life (family.mann). These examples are easy to understand, fit the narrative of your profile, and don’t use abstract characters.
Your bio is your brand, you want to sell yourself in a way that is subtle and attractive. You want it to be short and to the point, revolving around 3 key pieces of information, location, occupation, and hobbies/accomplishments.
Location is important when finding romantic matches, it’s vital to be meet people in your area rather then making a huge commute. Most importantly, being in the same neighborhood sets you apart from other men who might be interested.
Including your occupation gives your profile validity and reassurance. If you describe your job well it can be very impactful and attractive. A good example would be if you work in the medical field, instead of saying ‘I’m a Pharmacist’ or ‘I analyze blood’ you can say ‘I work to help keep people healthy and happy’. It adds dimension to your occupation.
When you list hobbies on your profile, you’re inviting a potential connection. You might have an interest in common, or it could highlight qualities she might find attractive in a partner. Different activities inspire different reactions, so make sure what you list fits your overall brand. Don’t list a bunch of sport activities and then only post pictures of food for example.
When you write your bio, think about who you are trying to attract and tailor it accordingly. This is the first impression you are making on your page so make it count!
2 – Make it Public
If she can’t see who you are, why would she answer you? On top of making your profile public, you can try for verification. A verified profile goes a long way towards getting the right kind of attention, but it can be a complicated process.
To request verification:
- Log in
- Access the drop down list via the top right corner
- Select ‘Settings’
- Select ‘Account’
- Select ‘Request Verification’
- Provide the requested information and upload a copy of your photo ID
Requesting verification does not mean you’ll get approved, but it doesn’t hurt to try.
3 – Strategize your Posts
Your first 6-9 photos will form the basis of what first impression you give and this has the most impact on if you get follows and responses. When your page is good, it ups your perceived value and more value = better response. To get better page value you need to strike a balance between good stories and posts.
A quick guide to the best posts is to show off the following attributes
1 – Smart
Share your passions or something that you have expertise in. This could be your hobbies, your career, or volunteer work, the possibilities are endless. The goal here is to show your hardwork and ability.
2 – Determined
What are you ambitious about? What drives you in life? Are you planning any big trips or moves? This shows off your ambition and willingness to plan for the future.
3 – Adventurous
These are your ‘action’ shots. Posting shots of physical hobbies that you enjoy shows your willingness to put yourself out into the world. This is also where you incorporate travel and vacation shots.
5 – Socially Valuable
This is where you demonstrate that you have a lot of social currency – interesting friends who want to spend time with you, and plenty of exciting things going on in your life. It’s also good to post photos with women, but take care not to post too many with the same person or it will give the impression you are in a relationship.
4 – Master Following
Getting can be broken into three methods – Rapid Fire, Hashtag, and Profile Tag.
For the Rapid Fire Method, you basically are going for volume. Go to the IG of a place you like and bring up their follower list, if you follow 50 people from that list you should get about 10% following you back. If you get followed back by a woman you like, you also now have a shared interest in this place.
The Hashtag Method is similar, but allows you to find people in your area who you can actually date. Find the most used hashtags for your area (ex. #austin #atx) and browse people using the hashtag. From there you are adding by volume similarly to the Rapid Fire Method.
The Profile Tag Method is the most discerning. Go to a profile that already follows your, find a group photo and click one of the tagged people. Like 2-3 photos (NOT MORE) and at least one that doesn’t have the person in it, then request to follow. This increases your visibility and adds legitimacy to your request.
5 – DM Her
The best first contact for a girl on IG is to respond to her Insta Story. This gives you something to actually talk about instead of sending a DM cold. Obviously the topic of conversation will depend on who you are messaging but avoid complimenting appearance right away, it sends the wrong message. Go for casual friendly conversation before flirting.
If you have matched with this person on a dating app you can also mention that as an opener but NOT if she swiped left, that just makes you look like a stalker. Remember all this work on building your IG is to set the groundwork for reaching out and having her be interested, ruining that with trashy pick up lines just puts you back to square one.